A Message From Your Cap'n

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have a question for the cap'n? email dearcapnlou at gmail

Mar 07
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Mnemonic #2

A gypsy woman in an eagle’s embrace, Nicks and Henley sang ‘Leather and Lace.’

Mar 06
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“ It’s true that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. But you also catch more flies with stagnant pond water or shit or rotting corpses than with honey. So where does that leave us?
— Cap’n Lou
Mar 03
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“ I can’t make you love me if you don’t, but I CAN make your heart feel something I call ‘poison-induced heart failure.’
— Cap’n Lou
Feb 28
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  • Cap'n Lou: Knock knock
  • Person: Who's there?
  • Cap'n Lou: Cap'n Lou
  • Person: Cap'n Lou who?
  • Cap'n Lou: Cap'n Lou Albino. Please let me in! The sun is burning my milky white skin!
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Wisdom from thelongneckgiraffe

Feb 26
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“ I believe the children are the future, which gives them an undeniable advantage. But I also believe that if we can just get our hands on a time machine, we will defeat them.
— Cap’n Lou
Feb 23
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“ Laugh and the world laughs with you. Crap your pants on MUNI and the world laughs at you.
— Cap’n Lou
Feb 21
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Mnemonic #1

My Not-Educated Mother Ought Not Irk Christ.

Feb 20
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“ Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, unless the horse is a gift from your boyfriend and he is the type to propose by putting an engagement ring in the horse’s mouth, in which case you should just do a quick check.
— Cap’n Lou
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“ Ladies, sometimes you have to accept the fact that he is just not that into UNESCO.
— Cap’n Lou